The Circles of Control: A Life-Changing Tool to Overcome Overwhelm
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of worry, frustration, or stress about things outside your control? You’re not alone. As a life coach specialising in helping women overcome burnout and overwhelm, one of the most powerful concepts I share with my clients is the Circles of Control framework.
This simple yet transformative tool can help you shift your focus, reduce stress, and regain a sense of balance. Let’s dive in.
What Are the Circles of Control?
The Circles of Control framework is a practical way to understand what parts of your life you can and can’t control. By breaking down your concerns into three distinct categories, it helps you refocus your energy on what truly matters. Here’s how it works:
1. Circle of Control
This is the innermost circle and includes everything that is entirely within your power to control. These are your actions, decisions, behaviors, mindset, and responses. For example:
How you spend your time
The words you choose
The habits you cultivate
How you react to challenges
Focusing on this circle is empowering because it reminds you that you have the ability to create change—starting with yourself.
2. Circle of Influence
The middle circle represents things you can influence but don’t have full control over. These might include:
Relationships with others
Workplace dynamics
The behavior or opinions of those close to you
While you can’t dictate someone else’s actions or feelings, your words, energy, and example can make an impact. Understanding this circle allows you to approach situations with realistic expectations.
3. Circle of Concern
The outermost circle contains everything you care about but have no control over. These might be global events, the economy, or someone else’s life choices. Spending too much time and energy here can leave you feeling powerless and drained.
By identifying what belongs in the Circle of Concern, you can begin to let go of the things that weigh on you unnecessarily.
Why the Circles of Control Matter
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of things demanding your attention. From family responsibilities to work stress to worrying about the future, it can feel like everything is competing for your mental energy.
The Circles of Control framework is a game-changer because it helps you:
Clarify your focus: Instead of spreading your energy thin, you can direct it where it will have the most impact.
Reduce stress: Letting go of what you can’t control creates space for peace and presence.
Feel empowered: Recognising what’s within your control restores a sense of agency in your life.
How to Apply the Circles of Control
Here’s a step-by-step guide to using this framework in your daily life:
1. Write It Down
Take a piece of paper and draw three concentric circles. Label them: Control, Influence, Concern.
2. Sort Your Thoughts
Think about the challenges, worries, or stressors currently on your mind. Place each one in the appropriate circle. Ask yourself:
Is this fully within my control? (Circle of Control)
Can I influence this in any way? (Circle of Influence)
Do I care about this but have no power to change it? (Circle of Concern)
3. Refocus Your Energy
Commit to spending most of your time and effort on the Circle of Control. For items in the Circle of Influence, take intentional steps to make a positive impact. And for everything in the Circle of Concern? Practice letting go.
4. Revisit Regularly
Life changes, and so do your challenges. Revisit your circles regularly to ensure you’re staying aligned and focused on what matters most.
Real-Life Example: Shifting Focus
One of my clients, Emma, was feeling overwhelmed by her workload and frustrated by her team’s lack of communication. After mapping her Circles of Control, she realized:
Circle of Control: She could manage her own time better and set clearer boundaries.
Circle of Influence: She could improve team dynamics by initiating a weekly check-in.
Circle of Concern: She couldn’t control whether everyone followed through perfectly.
By shifting her energy to what she could control and influence, Emma felt more empowered and less drained. Over time, her proactive changes also improved her team’s communication.
Letting Go of the Rest
Here’s the truth: Holding onto things outside your control doesn’t change them—it only adds to your stress. The Circles of Control remind you to release the mental load of the uncontrollable and redirect that energy into building the life you want.
Your Next Step
Take a moment today to map out your own Circles of Control. What are you holding onto that you need to let go of? Where can you refocus your energy to feel more capable and less overwhelmed?
If this resonates with you and you want more tools to overcome burnout and create space for what matters, I’d love to help. Whether through one-to-one coaching or my upcoming podcast (The Overwhelm Edit), I’m here to support you every step of the way.
Remember, you have more power than you think—starting with what’s in your Circle of Control.
Love SaraLou x
