Episode 6: How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt – Your Path to Growth and Freedom
Do you struggle to set boundaries without feeling guilty, awkward, or overwhelmed? You’re not alone.
In this episode of The Overwhelm Edit, we’re talking all things boundaries—what they are, why they matter, and how they can transform your energy, time, and relationships.
Why Boundaries Matter—And Why They’re So Hard to Set
Boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially when they’re new. If you're someone who naturally gives a lot to others—at work, at home, in relationships—then setting a limit can feel selfish or wrong. But here’s the truth: boundaries are not barriers. They’re not harsh walls. Think of them instead as a white picket fence—a beautiful, gentle marker that protects your space and allows you to grow.
Just like a young sapling needs the right environment to thrive—sunlight, nutrients, protection—you need boundaries to protect your energy and encourage your personal growth. Without them, everything starts to feel overwhelming, and resentment, burnout, or emotional exhaustion begin to creep in.
What Is a Boundary, Really?
A boundary is simply a clear expectation or request that helps you meet your needs. It can be:
Asking for time alone.
Setting a limit on your work hours.
Saying “no” to something that drains you.
Communicating how you want to be treated.
Boundaries don’t have to be dramatic. Often, they’re small shifts that have a big impact.
A New Way to See Boundaries: The White Picket Fence
Instead of seeing boundaries as a concrete wall with barbed wire (harsh, isolating, immovable), imagine them as a white picket fence:
They allow visibility and connection.
They signal what’s okay and what’s not.
They’re there to protect, not punish.
This simple shift in perspective can make boundaries feel much more accessible and less intimidating.
How to Set a Boundary Without Guilt
So how do you actually do it?
Step 1: Notice Where Overwhelm is Creeping In
Think of a moment in your day or week that consistently leaves you feeling drained or resentful. That’s your clue. That’s where a boundary might be needed.
Step 2: Get Clear on Your Need
Ask yourself: What do I need in this situation?
Is it time? Space? Support? A clearer end to your workday?
Step 3: Plan Your Words Ahead of Time
When we’re overwhelmed, it’s hard to speak clearly. Plan your boundary in advance. For example:
“I’m feeling really overwhelmed and I need to take 30 minutes to myself this evening.”
“I need to leave work on time today to make my exercise class—it’s important for my mental health.”
“Can you look after the kids on Thursday evening so I can go for a run?”
Be clear, specific, and kind.
Step 4: Expect Some Friction—and Hold Your Ground
Setting a boundary might inconvenience someone—and that’s okay.
If it’s someone who loves you, they probably want to support you. And if it’s a work situation, you’re reinforcing a healthy professional boundary that helps everyone in the long run.
It might feel awkward. You might want to backpedal. But this is your chance to stand up for yourself.
Boundaries Aren’t Just for Others—They’re for You Too
Sometimes, the person we need to set a boundary with... is ourselves.
Let’s say your planned self-care time gets derailed because of a last-minute change (like a partner being home late, or a child getting sick). Instead of abandoning your need altogether, ask:
- When can I reschedule this?
- How can I still honour this need this week?
Your boundary becomes internal: “This still matters. I’m not giving up on it.”
When Boundaries Bring Up Big Feelings
Sometimes the people we love will have feelings about our boundaries—and that’s okay. Your job isn’t to absorb those feelings as your own. Instead, validate them without backing down.
For example:
“Yes, I know they miss me when I leave—but they also love spending time with you. Thank you for helping out.”
Let others have their experience while still honouring yours.
A Loving Reminder: You’re Allowed to Ask for What You Need
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you difficult or demanding. It makes you clear, self-aware, and strong. You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to ask for help. You’re allowed to protect your energy.
Boundaries are not about building walls—they’re about laying the foundation for a more grounded, fulfilling life.
Your Next Step: Try It Out This Week
What’s one area of your life where you need more space or support?
What’s one boundary you could set in the next few days?
Maybe it’s carving out time to move your body.
Maybe it’s protecting your evenings.
Maybe it’s asking for support with childcare or stepping back from a commitment that’s no longer serving you.
Whatever it is—plan for it, speak it clearly, and allow yourself to feel the discomfort and do it anyway.
Let Me Know How It Goes
I’d love to hear what you’re trying.
Snap a photo of your new habit or self-care moment and tag me on Instagram @drsaralouwylie —I’d love to cheer you on.
Let this be the beginning of something powerful.
